Love Languages and why we should try to understand them

I never really understood why, and to be honest with you I hadn’t really given it much thought, until I was introduced to Love Languages.

Love Languages and why we should try to understand them

From a young age to present day (I am currently 23) my mum would always cut up fruit for me or put things away in my room if it was out of place, when I am fully capable of doing these things myself and can definitely eat an apple without it being meticulously peeled and chopped up.

I never really understood why, and to be honest with you I hadn’t really given it much thought, until I was more recently introduced to the idea of Love Languages.  

Although only a theory, and originally proposed by a couple’s therapist, many think it’s a great way to try and understand people around you and for you to understand yourself! The most rudimentary way of recognising this being the coffee scenario below and which you’d most want to hear from a friend, family member or significant other.

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There are multiple books, articles and podcasts explaining the idea of Love Languages further, including easily accessible quizzes to help you find out where you might fit in in the model and what this may mean when it’s time for you to express yourself.

The rough understanding and application of this Love Language model helped me to appreciate that the things my mother does for me is the best way she can communicate that she loves me, and in turn the best way to let her know that she is loved by me. So, although she would appreciate spending time with me or me telling her how much she means to me the best way to drive this home would be in the form of an act of service, helping her with a task, making her breakfast in bed or any other act that requires thought and effort. Different sectors have adopted this way of thinking and applied it to many scenarios outside of personal interactions and can even be used in business and professional settings coined under ‘Languages of Appreciation’.

The importance of having at least a loose understanding of non-verbal as well as verbal forms of communication and in this case Love Languages, is that it helps enhance your bond and rapport with a person. This is due to a deeper and improved level of communication; a better sense of appreciation and it can sometimes help prevent any problems that may arise.

The key thing to take away from this piece is that when Love Languages, or Languages of Appreciation, are applied to a situation it can really help strengthen a bond between individuals, however, it should not be assumed or expected. It is always best to express candour and transparency when sharing your thoughts and ideas before applying any type of theory or model to a professional or nonprofessional relationship.      

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this and encourage you to do some light further research as it’s a concept I find interesting and really beneficial to how we interact with one another and how best we want to be interacted with.

Abigail Williams

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